"Don't tell anybody anything. If you do, you'll start missing everybody."
The Catcher in the Rye has been a book that I've been wanting to read, ever since I started searching online for book reviews/recommendations.
It's been a tough one to purchase too!
I tried finding for it in several book stores in Klang and also in Book Xcess but found none.
I came across one copy when I was in KK, in Popular and I was a few weeks away from getting my book vouchers! So I was like, I'll wait.
And then when the vouchers came the book was gone.
I was so devastated.
Because sometimes it's really really hard to get a book that has been wandering in your mind and when you finally saw it and did not buy then BAM you'll never see it again.
Okay la exaggerated. Hahahaha.
I always somehow have tough time searching for books that I really want.
Back when I was really active in Tumblr (5 years ago time flies man), I came across this paragraph from Green's Book, which is Looking For Alaska so many freaking times and then I was like whats this shit man. Of course I was actually very interested because of the way he writes. I cannot say dreamy, but at that time I thought that particular paragraph really appealed to me. And then there I was searching for his book all over. I searched for the longest time ever! Back then he wasn't really that popular here unlike now, where you can basically find his books everywhere.
I searched in Popular, MPH, and Borders. I was so sad that I couldn't find it.
And then one day I somehow was in Kinokuniya and was like maybe I should try finding for it for like one last time. I think the whole search took me almost half a year. AND THEN I FOUND IT!
I was so happy.
It was my lucky day because I also found another book that I thought was impossible for me to actually find it in Malaysia because of its content.
I like to read weird books. Hahaha. It's about a pedophile man that married a lady with a kid because he's in love with the kid. But I mean like 50 Shades of Grey is sold here so I guess Malaysia doesn't really ban books? Lol.
That book was Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov.
I really liked it! It's amazing how the author made everything so flowery and fancy and lovely when in fact it's actually very sick.
It was also the book that kind of lured me back into classical literature where I was once so afraid of reading. Hahahaha.
Back to The Catcher in the Rye.
I found it one day in this Times Sale and bought it anyway even though it was still pretty expensive after discount. But I couldn't miss it for another time!
When I read the first few pages I couldn't help but feel disappointed because it was narrated from a first person POV. First Person is fine for me (Gone Girl, Green books are mostly narrated from first person) but when it's boring it gets REALLY BORING unless from third person at least you can somehow still tolerate it if it's boring. At least it gets like, unfocused and a wider view about other things and other people. First person POV is just like, him, him, him, him, and him. And I kept waiting for something to happen to Holden and then he will just stop nagging about his miserable and depressing life and start talking about something else. I waited and waited and eventually gave up in the middle. I was like, this dude is either gonna die or like, idk, be unhappy for the rest of his life.
But upon finishing the book.. somehow I felt that this is really more than a boy getting so depressed at everything that is happening in his life.
I've read some things about depression, dealt with people having depressions and all and it's actually quite tough for them. They are basically dragging themselves everyday to live.
I guess I disliked it the first place because Holden was really a very negative person, he cannot not view things in such a negative perspective. But sometimes, of course his perspective is actually right. People are phony, people are shallow, and sometimes they really don't give a damn about any other thing other than themselves. It's the cruel reality.
At the end of the book I felt really sad for Holden. Because that quote that I wrote up there was the very last sentence that finished the book.
I read a review that said some people might not like it because it was very negative, and Holden was a young boy with so much anger and emotions with him that only people his age with his character would relate.
Maybe most of the people cannot relate, and they don't understand hence they didn't like the book.
I guess I fall in the middle category. I couldn't say I didn't like the book, but I also couldn't relate to Holden. At some point what he said was very true, about the society and people but it still didn't appeal to me a lot.
HOWEVER, it's a book that has given me the weirdest feeling ever.
Hahahahaha.
I only have three emotions when I finish a book.
1. I like it a lot.
2. I didn't like it.
3. I did not not like it, but I didn't like it very much too.
This book was close to 3. but not too close too.
It's just weird.
Paper Towns.
This is the very last book that I own from Green. It's actually my second favourite after Looking for Alaska.
I finished it like, a month back so I probably forgot all the feels about it.
But I like how it taught us to think about what we really want in life, and the truth about how we always succumb to what the society pressurize us into.
To become paper characters.
It's actually pretty sad and creepy if you think deeply into it.
After reading the book, it gave me even stronger feelings about the things I'd like to do with my life.
Except now I'm actually losing grip.
But fret not. :)
I'll be picking up soon.
Glad that I finished like two books at least ever since I left uni.
To more books!
xoxo.