(Hualien, 2018)
It's the time of the year again!
Where I look through my resolutions made at the end of 2017, wishing how I would want my 2018 to be.
This year I did a little bit worst than last year, where I only crossed 4/9 I made.
But it's never a competition, (or I said that to make myself feel better wtf).
I have also done my 2019 list, wishing it could only be better than before.
My 2018, like how I narrated to most of the people around me - it was a year of irony to me.
Completely ironic.
This year was a year where most of my life changing moments occurred, that caught me so off-guard I have no idea what my reflex actions should be.
And then, funnily enough it was the year I achieved the most.
But maybe a few things I have caught up this year, while facing my life-changing moments - could be a little more worthy to share, rather than the negative ones.
Who knows maybe some where, some time, you might find yourself in the very same spot as I was.
1. Learn to accept that you may have done a bad decision (s)
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Where there are sayings like
"There's no good or bad in decisions"
"There's no good or bad in decisions"
I believe there is. And if you've done it, then just face it like a man. People make bad decisions all the time (no matter how many people tried to steer you out of it) but never blame someone else on the decision you made, solely by yourself.
Just never make the same mistake twice.
2. Do something you've never done before
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"Fear is a state of mind"
Couldn't agree more, but how far can we push ourselves to?
I used to ALWAYS say NO to every possible chances being thrown at me.
Because I was damn fearful of all the worst case scenarios playing in my head.
And one of the most fearful thing to me was travelling solo.
Despite the fact that I have grown up being quite independent, I was always very scared to step out and see the world by myself
All these questions -
Will I get lost?
What if I get kidnapped?
What if I end up dying somewhere and my family can't find me?
etc etc (high five if you as paranoid as me)
But really, once you've done it, you would be addicted to it.
Because travelling solo had taught me that we are all equipped with the capability to survive.
That's what humans do.
We survive.
Despite the surrounding, condition, and environment.
And the fact that you only have yourself to rely on at that moment gave me a sense of reality we will not have whenever we are home because we will always have someone or something we can depend on.
So maybe 2019, pick something that you are afraid of, but have been wanting to do for a long time.. And do it anyway?
I once read before,
"To live, do something you are afraid of once, every day."
"To live, do something you are afraid of once, every day."
3. Take the longest time you need to heal - and not run away
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The common reactions we have towards traumatizing experiences - or just plainly a heartbreak is that we run. We run away from the possibility of getting ourselves indulging more into the heartbreak.
Sometimes it happens involuntarily.
Especially when we are new to heartbreaks.
But I believe, the only way to heal is to validate your own feelings.
Accept that you are hurting and that you need time to heal.
Take as long as you want - as long as you need, to find yourself again.
4. Walk away - when there are red flags
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Stop finding excuses for the person that's not worth your time.
Stop saying yes to vague boundaries.
Stop feeding on relationships you know deep down is never going to work.
Do yourself a favour, know your self-worth, and turn around.
Walk away.
Yes.
Thank you, Next.
I hope you have had a wondrous 2018,
and an even better 2019 awaiting you ahead.
Thank you for still checking this space!
xoxo
Happy New Year!